These last few weeks have been rough, ROUGH for Cruz. And for Mama.
I'm not sure if it's just a stage. But he whines and cries ALL DAY. Like almost constantly.
And it's tough on both of us. Obviously he is unhappy which is hard and it makes me really sad for him. But it also FRUSTRATES me like crazy. Usually I am pretty patient and tolerant towards Cruz. But lately the constant crying has had my nerves on edge.
Anyone who has been reading this blog for any length of time knows that I am pretty against the cry it out method. I truly believe in responding to your child when they are upset. But today I did something that is not in the usual for me. Instead of picking him up and running around like a crazy person trying to appease his crying, I let him sit on the floor and fuss. I sat right next to him and talked to him and I told him I still love him so much but that I wasn't going to pick him when he screams and cries at me.
He went ahead and continued to scream his head off. But I have learned his cries well and this one was definitely a mad cry, not a sad one so that made it a little easier to handle. But I eventually gave in and picked him up once the real tears started rolling.
I'm at a little bit of a loss and I don't know how to handle it. There is no way I can continue to have him scream at me like this when he doesn't get his way. It has been a big struggle for me and I still don't have an answer
The baby I used to nanny for went through a phase... for like a year... where he would SCREAM when he didn't get his way. It was hard to deal with because his parents liked to give him whatever he wanted, but he quickly learned that I wasn't going to appease him just for screaming... You can do it! Keep your chin up! Your sweet little boy will be better off having a mommy with great boundaries than a mommy who gives him everything he wants... especially if he isn't able to tell you what that is!
ReplyDelete<3 MuffinLovesBiscuit
Hi there!! Thank you for your lovely comment! :)
ReplyDeleteI have read one post and your 'About Us'and am already so inspired. Being a mother is hard when there is someone to share it with so you are doing an amazing job on your own :)
The crying is just a phase. I have a three year old going through it again now. Drives you nuts I know, but as hard as it is - it will end.
When he wants something try giving him options. Ïf he wants one thing you won't let him have, tell him two things he can have. My little girl always asks for chocolate so I tell her she can have either some cheese, or some fruit. I don't care which one she chooses because they are both healthy but she still feels like a winner because she chose whatever she wanted.
Works for me sometimes, others not - you just never know with kids!
Good luck and stop by again soon!
Sar xx
I just posted about how important I think it is to respond to baby's cries. However, I realize that I'm going to have to moderate that approach as Kale enters toddlerhood. I absolutely LOVE Alfie Kohn's book, Unconditional Parenting. It has a lot of great suggestions for positive, gentle discipline. However, even though we have the best intentions and approach doesn't mean that our boys will respond like we hope they will or that we will find the experience any less frustrating.
ReplyDeleteDo your best, mama - it's always worked for you before.
@Mrs Biscuit: I am completely terrified of being "that" mom with "that" kid. My friend and i were just talking about that. I definitely want to give my son what he wants whenever I can but I completely agree with you that he will benefit so much more from a mom who can set great boundaries vs a total pushover!
ReplyDelete@Sar: i am so glad to know I am not the only one! I love the suggestion of "two options." Cruz is a total FIEND for chocolate ( I am embarrassed to admit it since its obviously my fault!) and its a great idea to offer him two things he CAN have instead of that godforsaken chocolate!
@Randalin: You know I am with you alllll the way with responding to your babies cries which is why this has been such a struggle for me. Up until now love and attention has been enough to fix any problem. But now that Cruz is getting so persistent (to put it nicely) about his wants (not needs) I am realizing that I have a duty to him to teach him how to effectively communicate his needs so that he gets a positive result. I hope for you that Kale skips the tantrum stage (my mom swears my brother skipped it) but if he doesnt, you know where to come for moral support!
I'm not a big fan of cry it out either but I think it is definitely progress that you can recognize his mad cry from his sad cry. The fact that you didn't pick him up immediately when he started crying will get him used to that he can't always have his way. I'm sure it's hard and I'm dreading that phase when Marshall gets there. Good luck. I've heard it will eventually pass.
ReplyDeleteI hope you and Cruz are doing well! Your posts are missed here in blogworld
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