The funding recently came through for me to go back to school.
And I'm really excited.
But, mostly, I'm really scared. And I'm not even sure why. I think I am worried about not being able to do it all. That I wont be able to go to school and still be a good, interactive, attentive mom to Cruz.
I get overwhelmed really, really easily. Really. Easily.
I know that Cruz will always be my number one priority, always. But I dont want to fail at school either. I really want to go to school and get a degree. I want to take be an active part in the financial well being of my son. I have always been, more or less, solely in charge of his physical and emotional well being. And now it feels super important to me to be able to support him financially, all by myself, just incase that ever happens to be the case again; that I'm all by myself...again. I owe that to myself and my son. But, it still scares me.
I've managed to find most of my classes online, so the most I will have to leave him (with my mom) would be 4 hours a week. Thats not the part that worries me. Not at all. Cruz loves to have his Nanny all to himself sometimes. The part that I am afraid of is spreading myself too thin. Can I be a full time student and a full time mom? Is there enough time in the day for both? Is there enough of me to go around?
I guess I'll never know until I try, right? ... Right?
I think that you will do absolutely great. Both me and my husband are full time students with part time jobs, but we still make our kids our number one priorities.
ReplyDeleteIts all about budgeting your time. I do most of my homework during naptimes and after they go to bed, but if I have a lot I will take it outside so I can do it while they play.
I have two kids and haven't received a grade less than a B, so I have full confidence in you. Its hard at times, but so rewarding. You are incredibly talented, a great mom and I am so excited for you! I hope you talk more about what you are going back for.
I am stressing the exact same thing right now! I took the spring semester off because Rylin was only a month old but in a way i fell like nothings changed. I still don't get enough sleep at night, she still does not take decent naps, and I still hardly have time to shower so how am I going to find the time for my home work and studying let alone attending class! I just have to do it and figure it out as I go! Good luck to you I'll let you know if I find any helpful tips!
ReplyDeletegoing to BYU i know a LOT of student moms. and all i have to say to that is AMEN SISTA FRIEND!! hard? yes! challenging? yes!! but you can do it! and education is priceless. you will be so glad u finished! you got this girl!
ReplyDeleteYou can do it, mama! The best advice I can offer is to make a schedule and stick to it. I always found doing online courses hard because I had to be really disciplined and make myself do the work when there were so many distractions going on at home.
ReplyDeleteNo question Cass,,,just stop worrying about it, I know you will kick butt if you let yourself. Love you, Nan
ReplyDelete